WHEN BEING FAIR ISN'T FAIR

The other day my boss, Dr. Hemoglobin got on this kick about being fair. Personally, I did know it was important when you spend time beating up creeps who love filth and grime. But he seems to think so.

I got to admit I really had difficulty making sense of his whole deal on this. I mean fair ought to be fair in all the right ways. By that I mean the griminals ought to work more on being fair and not making a mess so much. Then we wouldn't have to bash them in the first place. I'd consider that to be fair. Well easier at least.

I understand what got him hung up on this part was from watching some television show about police arresting bad guys. Apparently when they do this they have to read them something called the Miranda Act, which has to do with rights.

It doesn't mention lefts so I'm not sure if there is a different set of things to read somebody who is left handed. Guess I would have to worry about it in the event I ran into a bad guy who was left-handed.

Anyway, supposedly before you beat the snot out of the bad guy you have to first mention this dude Miranda. That sure sounds kind of weird to me. I just have a hard time understanding how dropping the name of some guy will make any difference when you are about to beat the snot out of some jerk.

All I can think is that this Miranda dude was probably some really mean dude who made sure people didn't mess up too much. So in order to be sure somebody who is acting up stops, you just casually mention his name and that somehow causes them to stop.

I don't know, but too me that is an awful lot of work just to be fair to some jerk who wasn't being fair to others. And that don't seem fair to me at all.

Of course seeing how Dr. Hemoglobin ain't around with us when we actually do find some griminal, I guess it ain't going to be that big of a problem. I mean whose to say when I mentioned this Miranda character when I nab a bad guy?

After all, Dr. Hemoglobin didn't mention a word about the person having to be conscious at the time. So if they dude is lying their in a coma from being introduced to my bat, then I mention this Miranda dude that ought to work I reckon.

Shoot, I think I can even call my bat, Miranda, and make it even easier I figure. Yeah, that would really make it ever easier.

I can't say if everyone will think that is fair. But I sure do. And as long as this Miranda character doesn't show up to blab on how it ain't suppose to work that way, I think it will work for me.

Gee, I wonder if it matters how I spell Miranda too? I guess if I toss in a few of those lefts that nobody else mentions that will make up for it.