TOP TEN LISTS

How come good stuff only comes in list of ten? Can't there be more than ten good things with some subjects that could be listed? I do wonder.

Ten is a good number. I will admit that. But what if there are like a bazillion of something, ten just seems like small number.

Plus who makes up these lists anyway? Is it something you can go to school to learn? I think if you can get an education in this they ought to at least tell more people about it.

The other thing I was wondering about is how come if this list thing is so important the don't do it for stuff that ought to really count. I've never seen a top ten list for grimefighting. You can be if they did, I'd be on it somewhere.

And I don't recall there being a top ten list for the most yummy jelly beans either. Who forgot to make up one for something as cool as that.

Well I decided that perhaps if nobody else is going to do it right, maybe I'll make up my own top ten lists. You know the really important junk that we would like to know for sure there are even ten of.

Like say, the top ten farters on the planet. Now tell me you wouldn't benefit from learning that fact.

After all if you knew that you would know who to avoid hanging around, especially if they had just finished a big bowl of beans. I think that would be really helpful. Kind of public service.

Shoot you could even post the list somewhere like elevators. Maybe include pictures. That way if you got ready to get on the elevator and saw one of those people on the list you could spare your nose the risk of being attacked by farts.

Heck, that would just be the beginning. Another cool list might be the top ten tummies most likely to barf on a rollercoaster. Oh yeah, now you got to admit knowing that would be a very helpful thing.

But I reckon it might take a while before I'm able to get those lists prepared. I suppose I'll have to spend a lot of time hanging around elevators and roller coasters.

Oh I'm willing to make the sacrifice. Yeah, I don't mind hanging around such places if it means I can come up with a real practical list.

I'll just have to make sure that along the way I don't see anybody making up their own lists. Because I have from time to time be known to cut the cheese. I just don't particularly care to be on the top ten list. There are some things you just can't really impress by being famous for.