EATING ON THE RUN

Now I ask you what sane person does this? Okay, I know there are those weird exercise types out there who probably think this is a good idea, but not me.

I mean jeez, how in the world can you balance a burger, fries and big drink while running? I know I can't. In fact I don't even know why I would want to.

See the thing is, as I view it, when you are wolfing down all that cool food you will have the time afterwards when you tummy is going to be really, really full. Plus you know it takes time for the grease from the fries and burgers to get from you tummy to wherever it goes. Personally, after I've had you know three big deluxe cheeseburgers, two big buckets of fries and four or five drinks, I'm lucky to even move for about an hour.

Which is why I think they call it an lunch hour or dinner hour. Because obviously the people who named them knew you were going to need all that time just to let the food settle before you did much moving around.

So what in the world do these you know jogger types eat that makes them think it is okay to run while you are munching on it. I doubt it is anything good.

I figure it has to be some of that stuff called health food. That is the junk they sell in those strange stores that have brand names like organic. God that turns my stomach just to think of what kind of strange stuff somebody puts in that stuff.

But you know, perhaps that is the whole deal. You got these people who don't want to admit that health food is really not that tasty.

So they start running and that way they can spit it out when nobody is looking. Plus lets face it if you are eating something that tastes yucky you do definitely want to have something else to do.

Because the one thing we all know if your tummy ain't happy you sure are going to be hearing about it a whole lot. And if you are too proud to admit that the stuff they give you in some health food store may not have the zing you would get from normal foods then you better have a way of not being watched when you spit it out.

So if you are one of those who eats on the run, then I will definitely feel sorry for you. After all you are just a slave to something you can seem to give up.

And when you go jogging by the fast food restaurant where us sane people are really enjoying our food, I'll even wave. Only you don't have to wave back.

I won't blame you if you need to hold your hand over your mouth to keep from barfing. But don't worry, I won't tell. Besides it is so much more fun just trying to imagine where you are finding those bushes so you can barf without anyone noticing. That is a talent you can have. With burgers, I don't need it.