BETTER

Better is such a cool word. Providing the person using it is sane and has a decent idea of what better is. I wish I could say that was no problem, but you know it was other wise if you had to deal with some of the people I deal with and their lame ideas of better.

Will somebody please tell me how getting beat up with a club is honestly better than getting beat up with a bat? I mean being left unconscious is something that I don’t really figure there is a better part to in my book.

But you always end up with somebody who no matter how silly it seems just have to convince you there whatever is better than your whatever. Of course there are times when they are right. I’ll admit that does happen.

However I refuse to accept it is true in all cases. Like the other day over at STINK. I mean most of the guys and I can get into discussions on the better thing without it getting ugly. That might work real good if old rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin didn’t insist upon butting his nose into our conversations.

You can be darn sure with him that there is now way anyone has anything better than him. Even if you are talking about something bad like getting sick, well shoot man he always gets sicker than anyone else. Boring!

Man there are times when we go out of our way to be absolutely sure we find somewhere to talk that he doesn’t know about. But that dude has some weird sense of radar and he manages to find us almost every time.

Then we have to come up with some lame excuse for leaving or being too busy to talk. You would think he would take the hint.

I wish! Nope there just is no such luck. That guy never lets us go till he’s satisfied that he has convinced us he got the better whatever.

Most of the time we end up just agreeing with him to shut him up. The only time that turns out to be a disaster is when he decides he wants to show us his better whatever.

Let me tell you one thing, if for any reason you ever run into that cheese hording creep and he wants to show you his collect of Cheese Whiz jars, RUN! I mean I’ve seen lint that is more interesting. Jeez who paints a face on a Cheese Whiz jar and gives it a name?

You can be sure Junior thinks it is cool. He can have it as far as we are concerned. We just looked at those stupid jars and then agreed with he told us how it was a better collection than any other.

That always gets me thinking of course of how I wish I could test out how much better my bat is that those jars of Cheese Whiz. But then I doubt even that would help him!