BUTTONS AND HOSE

If you wear clothes then you’ll have to deal with buttons at some point in life. Sometimes I do sort of wonder for example why you really need a couple of buttons on some shirt you pull over your head to wear. I figure maybe the button makers are so rich and powerful that they boss the shirt people around in some way. Like they go in with some big ape of a dude who grabs the shirt maker by the throat and says, “Look pal, either put a couple of buttons on those shirts or I’ll pound you into a pile of goo.”

I can’t prove that of course. No do I want to, but it does sort of make sense to me. Just like when they add buttons to the pockets on pants that you don’t need. That just makes me figure those darn button people are somebody you don’t want to piss off.

I kind of wonder if those people aren’t as big and powerful too? Maybe they even know the button dudes. I mean how often do you see there being something you can use for watering that is other than a hose? Just try to figure out a good option? I can’t.

So that is pretty cool. They both sort of got a monopoly on making sure you have some reason in life to get stuck using their product.

Now the one thing I know is I wish you could do that with other stuff. Like say cleanliness. Well I am a grimefighter after all. So I wish we had a way to make it so everyone had no choice, but to keep things clean all the time. It sure would make our jobs a lot easier. Actually I guess it might end that part of our job altogether. In fact come to think of it that might mean there wasn’t a need for garbage man either.

Er perhaps on second thought that isn’t as cool of an idea as I would like. But I’m not giving up though. I think I’m going to see if I can find out who makes those button and hoses and find out what kind of special secret they have for making sure you got to use their product.

Course then maybe they don’t want to share and fess up. That would be sort of the pits. I reckon I might find a way to entice them though.

I know I could like buy a bunch of hose and some boxes of buttons and go waltzing into wherever they have their factories. The tricky part might be finding out where they keep them.

I wonder if the dude that delivers those buttons and hoses would be easy to notice? I mean that is providing they are sneaky in some way and disguise themselves.

Well seeing how this may mean a big break if I can figure a way to get it to work with cleaning stuff perhaps I’ll have to do one of those steak out deals. That is where you sit around waiting for somebody and eat steak at the same time. I better be sure I can get enough steak in case it takes a while. I best head over to some steak place and order like three or four hundred steaks to be save. I bet if I ask them to put it in a doggy bag then I won’t have to explain what it is for. Yeah that ought to work.