WHAT'S NEW

Man I always enjoy finding this out from folks when it is good news. Some good new is a lot better than something bad new. I just wish everyone else felt the same way.

What happens to me is that I get in the mood to ask people what’s new? Only there are a few people where that isn’t a good idea to ask because you can be darn sure the answer is going to be bad. It will in fact be downright depressing.

But dummy me I find it hard to break my habit and before I can stop my mouth I’m asking that question of the wrong person. Then I get stuck having to sit there and listen to whatever dribble they call new and smile and pretend I’m enjoying it.

And the worse thing is because I asked they really think I want to know. What I really hate is when I ask this of the wrong person and then they start thinking I always want to hear them complaining. So when I’m at STINK having lunch they’ll come up to me and sit down and start talking tell I finally ask the question.

Then watch out because I know I’m going to get a mouthful of real boring crap. I have to fight to keep from yawning. Sometimes I manage to escape by making up some excuse about having to go to the bathroom. Afterwards I just hang out in the bathroom and check the door and make sure he has left before I leave. Which normally takes a while with some dudes so then I have to make some fake farting sounds to make him think I really have to go to the bathroom.

Now I suppose I could tell them I don’t want to listen. And if I could keep my darn mouth shut and not ask that stupid question I could probably get away with it. But outside of sewing my lips shut I doubt that I could accomplish that.

So what I do is my best to make sure I don’t end up in the lunchroom when I know those couple of grimefighters are going to be there. Sometimes I manage sometimes I don’t. And when I don’t well I know I’m going to end up spending a far amount of time in the bathroom.

Anyway I guess with some people you just have to live with them being the kind that only get excited about bad news. Guess you can’t expect them all to enjoy just good news huh?

About the only good part for me is the times I get to run into this one grimefighter who is so darn good at listening. Now after spending time getting bored listening to those whiners I really look forward to seeing him and telling him how much of a pain they are at times.

It is just too bad he has so many problems with his bowels. Why we’ll be sitting there and I’ll be telling him all about how much of pain those folks are and then all of sudden he’ll end up having to use the bathroom. And from all the farting I hear him doing man he sure has some real big problem with his bowels. Plus I know he’ll be in there a long time, so I just leave and hope to catch him next time.

Meanwhile I hope you luck out on this what’s new thing when you can. And if you end up hearing from a person with only bad news, I hope you are good at fake farts!