BETTER SAFE THAN...

Safety is always a big deal where I work at STINK. Our boss Dr. Hemoglobin is constantly talking about how we need to be careful and avoid accidents.

Not don’t tell him, but I think to be honest sometimes he ends up giving us so many lectures because I do have a tendency to make a few errors on the job. I don’t do it on purpose, but as they say “accidents happen.”

The only problem is that Dr. Hemoglobin has trouble remembering that when I come in from assignment with my buddy Otis and in our report we have to mention how something went wrong. Now I ask you isn’t it important to honor that saying “better safe than sorry?”

But let me tell you the one thing that Dr. Hemoglobin isn’t is other than sorry when I tried being safe and something went wrong. You would think he could take a little pride in my trying to play it safe, but NOOO he doesn’t.

Now I ask you what would you do if you suspected somebody of being a griminal and had to find out for sure? I mean if there is one thing I know it is that griminals hardly enjoy admitting that they are griminals. Shoot even when you catch them in the act they still will try and argue with you that it wasn’t them.

Which really pisses me off. And my solution to that problem is to use a little persuasion to try and inspire them into admitting the truth. I do that for their benefit too. After all if you don’t admit you have a problem then how can you get better or find some kind of help?

My buddy Otis doesn’t always appreciate my efforts though. I mean to me when I stand then with some dude handcuff and get out my old trusty bat and give him the choice of spilling his guts or having his brains bashed in they normally have little trouble admitting they messed up. So I figured it is a good way to deal with a problem. And it normally gets results.

However my buddy keeps insisting that in some situations folks will say anything to avoid getting bashed. He might be right to some degree, but the way I figured it is better to be safe in that situation than to let some jerk of a griminal go free.

I do have to confess though that I might have to give some serious thought to changing my philosophy a little. At least after that last accident er mistake.

There was watching this guy who looked suspicious wandering down a city street and he was passing out little booklets. I figured they were some kind of litter that a sick mind would give to people to be sure they threw them away.

So I walked up to him and told him to knock it off. Well he tried to claim that they weren’t litter. But as usual I tried to use my bat on him to get him to stop trying to avoid his guilt. And I bet you know how that worked out.

To make a long story short, I guess I should have at least looked at the booklet and found out it was a gospel tract. My buddy Otis says I should have been able to tell by the guy’s white collar that he was a priest, but what can I say, I was distracted. Anyway I guess this is another one of those cases where our leader is going to have to take care of my mistake. And I’m sure he will since I don’t think he likes the idea of risking having a bunch of priests and nuns going on the rampage and threatening to send all of us to the place other than heaven when the time comes.