PET PHRASES

What do people get so stupid and act totally dumb when it comes to their pets. I got a pet named Spam. But I sure don't get wacky and start calling him cutsey and disgusting silly names.

Especially when I'm out in public. Course my cat Spam doesn't act like normally cats. He seems to need to sleep a lot. And only eats Spam and mainly only when my buddy Otis is around. He's the big expert on Spam in our house. He is real addict to it. Which is why I know when he says my cat only love Spam, I believe him.

Anyway, Spam is kind of weird or I should say Otis acts strange at times. Because there are times when that stupid cat won't even purr. Then Otis suddenly gets this urge to buy batteries from some strange reason. Well when he gets home from the store I guess it somehow makes Spam happy. For it isn't too long after that when Spam starts purring again.

But you know, no matter what, regardless of how weird my cat acts, I have never thought it was a good idea to treat him like he was some little fluffy thing you had to talk about in silly talk. I'm talking about you know, the way some parents talk to kids.

Jeez, how do they expect baby to ever learn to talk right when they say all that crap like goo-goo to them? Is that dumb or what?

I know I have no intentions of getting on that stupid bandwagon of talking funny or in stupid phrases about any animal. I'll let the dumb people who love acting weird do that.
Besides I don't play any musical instruments. And that would be even dumber to be on a wagon full of band dudes to just sit

Meanwhile, as they say, live and let live. Which to me means if you want to keep live then by all means don't ruin my life with some kind of stuff about your life that makes my life bored in the process. I'm doing what they call parrot-phrasing you understand. That is where you ramble like a bird brain because you can't think of something that makes sense other wise.

Well, I hope I have cleared up this thing for you. I really am glad I did all that explaining so perhaps it will end all this silly calling your pets by some silly phrase.

If any of you still aren't clear then do me a favor and don't come around where I am. I just would rather not mess with listening to your ramble like you don't have a brain.

Plus, if you do that too much I might be tempted to bash you. And the one thing I know from that is it will definitely be sure you don't talk like you have a brain after that.

So just keep that part of you silly talk to yourself if we meet. I would be happy, you would be happy and nobody has to worry about if they brain stays in their head. Seems reasonable to me. But then most things do.