TURTLE LIVING

I call this living in a shell. And that can be a place where you can hide from all the crap that drives you nuts. Oh I admit that hiding ain't always a good answer, but you know, there are times when it is cool.

Let's face it there are times when everyone's life sucks. I wish that always happened in the form of an ice cream cone or lollipop, but that isn't the situation.

Which is why there are those occasions when my buddy, Otis, and I just love to go somewhere that nobody knows us and we are not bothered by being paged or called. Otis calls that an "oasis of serenity from the perils of stress." I call it finding something fun to do that let's us have a good time without being bugged by jerks such as rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin.

In any case I'm telling you that turtle living can be so cool for a little while. Not forever, mind you, even having fun could get boring if you had to do it all the time.

However, on a given occasion, which is given the fact that we can get away with it without somebody griping about us goofing off, I don't mind finding one of those shells to enjoy. It is in part dependent on how much money we got and also where we can go that we know nobody will see us that recognizes us.

A theater can work. It is dark inside and if you work it right like going when it isn't crowded that is one option.

The problem is that like that time when decided to go to the theater when they had a day when a old bunch of school kids were going. Kids are okay, but man can they be such a pain in terms of noise.

What we normally try to do is visit this amusement park in another city. And as long as we can get on the bus without someone like Granny Potts also riding it, we can generally be able to sneak away.

But if for some reason that doesn't work, then Otis has a few back up plans. Which is nice since we don't actually have to back up in order for them to work.

Now one of the things we have done is to tell everyone we are gone and then stay home. You can turn the place you live into a nice turtle shell place for a little while.

Of course that can be tricky too. I mean you have to be careful about going to places like the video store or ordering pizza to be delivered. People kind of know if you order pizza then you are probably going to be home.

We don't always manage to keep from being seen, but the nice thing about answer machines is you can at least not answer them when somebody calls. It is a little tougher to do when a person knocks on the door. But that is where having a mute button on the television remote really can be a life saver.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "Who did the kangaroo check with in order to be created with pockets? Seems kind of unfair to those of us with loose change."