I NEED, WE FEED, THEY BLEED

On a good day at STINK this pretty much describes how things go for me. It starts with the need part. As in having an empty stomach. The kind that you feel like you could eat a whole cow and still have room for a couple of million donuts for dessert. Yeah that kind of hungry.

So we only deal with that challenge by heading over to STINK’s lunchroom. And I guess Dr. Hemoglobin also has a sense of when that is important too. Because on days when we got a real extra special assignment coming up he makes sure there is plenty to eat in the lunchroom.

Okay it is true that it often includes a whole lot of casseroles that generally has stuff in it we didn’t eat on other days, but there is sure a lot of it. One word of advice though, if you ever have a chance to visit STINK on one of those days, avoid the spinach and fish stick casserole. Sometimes that green stuff they claim is spinach is er, well something else. I haven’t asked and they sure are about to volunteer to tell me either.

Anyway it still can be a cool feast. One I sure don’t mind gobbling down and going back for a couple of dozen times till I feel I’m not hungry any longer.

The one thing you do have to be careful about during these feasts is getting so full that you can’t move or need to take a nap. Feeling that sluggish just don’t cut it in terms of going on assignment.

I tell you my boss Dr. Hemoglobin sure don’t consider it our finest hour if he happens to wander out to the parking area and finds us napping instead of moving. It gets real tough too convincing him that we were doing what Otis claims is meditating if we are snoring.

So we try to strike a balance in eating enough, but not too much. Otis calls it a balance. I call it knowing when to stop eating so you don’t feel like you stomach is going to explode.

Afterwards when all the feasting is done and we are out there going after the bad guys that is hopefully when the bleeding part happens. At least we hope it happens to the bad guys and not us.

Sometimes though accidents do happen as they say. Like if us grimefighters end up getting confused over our assignments. I tell you when you enter some dark abandoned warehouse where you are told a griminal is lurking you just love the idea of greeting them with a bat. And I’ll tell you there is no better feeling than whacking a dude who is a griminal till he begs you to stop. Course my rule is as long as he’s still begging I keep whacking. Just to be safe you understand.

However I’m sure you can appreciate my having mixed emotions when I finally get to turn on the lights and find out that instead of it being a griminal it was another grimefighter would got lost by accident. Guess it is lucky for me that being unconscious sort of keeps them from finding out it was my bat that made them that way. (It also helps when it gives me enough time to think up a lie to blame it on somebody else.)