TESTING THE WATERS

Okay when did it happen? Come on you can tell me. I think I have a right to know. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here. What I’m rambling about is this business of testing the waters. My boss Dr. Hemoglobin was talking about it the other day.

With him like everything it applied to STINK somehow. Now we do us water at STINK. You can hardly do much decent cleaning without water. But you know I never worried about having to test the water before.

Besides it hardly seemed like that big of a problem from my point of view. I mean shoot if you go to get some water out of a faucet and it were brown and not clear you better be smart enough to not drink it. So an eye test ought to be enough in that situation I reckon.

However it sure sounded to me like my boss was talking about more than that. Because he was talking about how we were going to use the garbage trucks differently to test the waters. I may not know everything, but I sure know you can stuff some big old garbage truck into a water hose. Even I got that part figured out.

So I’m thinking he’s talking about somehow getting the truck into something like one of those reservoirs or maybe a lake or even the ocean. But shoot if you stick a big old garbage truck in any of them all that is going to happen is that they will get polluted by the garbage, oil and er well, the rust too I suppose.

After we all sat around and our boss shared this water testing business I went and asked my buddy Otis why anybody in their right mind would think putting a garbage truck in water would help to test it for something you didn’t already know. Boy was that a mistake.

He rambled on about symbolism, imagery and what he called a “meta-for.” I don’t know who this met dude is that this testing the water would be for, but all I know is after Otis got done explaining I honestly didn’t know anymore than before he started talking. Honestly one of these days I swear I’m going to get out a dictionary and fix that problem. Oh I’m not going to read it, I’m going to hit him on the head with it in hopes it makes he stop using all those dang big words he loves to use a times.

Well after all of that nonsense we never did actually get around to driving any garbage truck into any lake or reservoir. Personally I was sort of disappointed. I mean I was curious if you know the garbage would make the truck light enough to float. But I guess I’ll have to wait to find out.

In the meantime all our garbage trucks got a new coat of paint on them. And we’ve added some cool images of trash collection on the side. Gee you know you would have thought instead of testing the waters that Dr. Hemoglobin would have been smarter to tell us to see how people reacted to the new look. But then I guess when your hung up on water as important you sort of forget that kind of stuff.