A RIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE

The University was sponsoring a campus Saturday barbecue,
but didn’t count on the fraternity who were like Animal House
to secretly spiked all the watermelons with vodka before the big event.

Oh burgers went fine and we mingled with the faculty,
until the melon was passed around and slowly insanity replaced decorum.
Suddenly the chemistry professor started singing the Sound Of Music Theme song,
then the coach of women’s volleyball tried to start a conga line,
staggering bodies and slurred words raged in pure chaos,
next day’s hangover ended future occasions unless the food was guarded,
school paper column making fun with headline, “A Rind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste.”