OH THIS I JUST AGONY

I don’t know how to share my shame
over the guilt of keeping the truth a secret too long,
but I have just been in such deep agony
over hiding this from you so very long.

Please forgive me for my despicable deception,
it is a regrettable learned behavior back on Neptune
we don’t get trained to deal with confrontation
without normally eating somebody’s face.

Oh I tried to learn to change when I spent time with Bigfoot
in that commune where we worshipped The Holy Jicama.

How I miss those nightly visions of that Atlantis Gelato shop
they just blessed me with the ability to commune
with the departed spirits of cute and fuzzy
carnivorous trout and cannibal sponges.

Alas it is too bad the High Council of the planet Snavely-thistle
decided our polka chanting rituals
were threatening the karmic balance
of the fruitcake they use to contact black hole demigods.

So sad I got that sickness there,
especially since the doctors still haven’t determine my disease,
but they said it isn’t contagious, well pretty sure,
haven’t noticed you thinking you were Smokey the Flatulent Bear
so imagine you are safe.

Now I must leave and say good-bye
can’t even tell you where I’m going to be for always,
don’t think they have phones
inside the Loch Ness monster’s tale.

Hmmm, did you hear that?
Darn zebra banshees can be such a pain.
I do promise to cherish the memory of out time forever
hold it as dear as the times I spent
in that igloo with those hemophilic jelly bean pirates
while I was cloud fish named Gertrude.