My perfect disease.

I cringed whenever she would call off sick

because I knew she would say that word,

“Wampacharoo.”

 

She would claim it was a disease,

some mysterious ailment

for which there was no cure,

but would inflict her normally on Mondays

so she couldn’t  come into work

it left her utterly unable to function

just for a single day.

 

Told her that she needed a doctor’s excuse

in order to prove this was a real illness

after I looked through a medicinal book,

never was even sure of the spelling

and couldn’t find it anywhere.

 

Then she brought in a note

from some physician

with a P. O. Box for an address

whose phone number

was some answer machine.

 

Oh how creative she could be

at explaining every question,

giving this vague malady such drama,

yet never actually providing any real evidence

about the dreaded sickness.

 

Eventually she quit

said was going to nursing school.

Never did find out

if she still had that sickness

once she started that career,

but can imagine if she did

that she found a name

one could locate in a book.