This Isn’t Missouri, But Shut Up Anyway!

How come every nut who is delusional
seems to know my name?
And is able to prove the most insane truths
because they couldn’t tell reality
if God came and explained it to them.

Now excuse me,
if I might not be from Missouri,
known as the “show me state,”
so please don’t tell me the sky is made of sauerkraut
before you toss some on a paper cloud
as validity that you are right.

I’ve heard the zealots, fanatics and disciplines
who worship everything from bushes to trash cans
explain their wisdom with such passion,
only without a single ounce of credibility.

Maybe aliens are running the government,
the Loch Ness Monster is wife
to the dude who built the pyramids,
or there are vending machines that are immortal,
really don’t want to know
because unless they are going to pay my bills,
make my life other than one long yawn,
just spare me any evidence of their existence.