Lessons Learnt

Welcome to Buford’s Bureaucratic Butt Sniffing School
where we’ll teach you how anal retentive is so cool,
why once we’re done you’ll be the perfect tight ass
having your head shove up there with red ink class.

Heck we’ll make being mentally constipated a real treat
to the point that you’ll think any crap smells so very sweet,
yep with our learning you thinking small budgets are the deal
and eat them, sleep them even want them for every meal.

So no more tossing around bucks like they were free
it will be time to hide your wallet and cross each knee,
because we’ll make you love barely being able to fart a penny
while through a hissy fit though loaded by whining you haven’t any.

Come on now and sign up for our next semester before it’s too late
since we’ll thrown in some discounts to make it truly something great,
the whole time you’ll enjoy making up BS rules to ruin others’ day
totally stressing them out in every glorious check flinching way.

For there’s no better way to end up making everyone else’s life so pissed
plus making sure you subtract in joys with an audit that you might have missed,
how it will make you love the word cheap and frugal with such serenity
as it makes you freak out and think spending is some serious obscenity.

Nothing is more thrilling than to choke the life out of every guy’s dreams
then dump a load on his head of regulation manure until he screams,
now get ready to become one of the bean counting, rear ending geek
getting ecstasy from causing most sane people to moan and completely freak.