They’re Red Ain’t They?

Was the holiday season and at work

my scrooge boss apparently had some revelation,

said was got filled with the Christmas spirit

had three ghost visit him to scare him into changing,

the fact that he described them as looking like strippers,

made the idea that his rum egg nog

perhaps was the real source of his vision.

 

But he decided we would have a office party,

then got even more inspired and suggested

we let the new personal manager be in charge

of hosting the big event,

even though he was Mr. Conservative and dull

I figured at least it was better

than the years we did nothing.

 

Oh the look in that human resource man’s eyes

surely was so amazing, even show a tear

left me convinced he was so happy

that he would make it incredibly fantastic.

 

Well we kept checking in with him

each day he boasted this would be so memorable,

the we all left at five so he could decorate

so we could come back at seven thirty

for the best party you could imagine.

 

Never did we dream this guy was a closet redneck,

until we saw his weekend wheels in the parking lot.

 

Did worry us, but figured it had to get better,

inside was a shock he had deer antlers dressed with Christmas lights,

a mule in the corner, that he said was a yule log

by then to drunk judging from the empty bourbon bottles

so he could think straight, no idea where he got the mule.

 

Oh it got worse, had bass painted silver

hung from strings attached to the ceiling,

really didn’t help that he decided to clean them

while they were hanging,

the sight of those fish guts on the floor

did nothing for our cheer,

made worse when some feel on the table

where he had the pickled egg, pig’s feet and some cake

must have made it himself

looked like a mutant meat loaf

with a bass fish tail sticking out the side.

 

Stunned, all my boss could mumble was,

how do you figure fish innards are decorations,

our drunk as a skunk party host just asked

‘they’re red, ain’t they?”

Then fell back and passed out.