I’m Screaming From A Lite Christmas

It’s Christmas in California’s once golden state

where Santa Claus’s might not come on his sleigh,

because the new pollution regs might make him late,

rumors are his flights have been banned by the EPA!

 

Forget the carols and buying gifts so very deluxe

for all the tax hikes are leaving us completely broke,

plus unemployment is so high and the economy sucks

with our politician’s making our decisions that are a joke.

 

But us stalwart natives will still find some season’s cheer,

even if we have dig it out of some dump to make it work,

so that some garbage looks like gold with enough beer,

which is all you can do when government goes berserk.

 

Oh well have some turkey for dinner if all goes well

and the health department doesn’t rule them as cancer risks,

like they’ve done with all but what toxic plants expel

since they contribute to elections with some money disks.

 

Now will be time to mosey over to that outlet mall

look for crap that is cheap and won’t break in one day,

stuff in an expensive box while in the bathroom stall

then pretend it was priceless presents that we gave away.

 

If were lucky we’ll survive without a new ton of debt

since the lawmakers keep wanting to suck us dry,

who keep thinking of their lies we will forget

while taking expensive vacations without saying good-bye.

 

So well cope and drown our misery with spike egg nog,

watch a used copy of “It’s a wonderful life,”

warm ourselves by the light of a fake fireplace’s plastic log

then dream of bureaucrats who we carve up with a knife.