Never

Baby, you still look as if you’re in your teens,

so there’s no need to push that silly stress trigger

by asking about those new pair of jeans,

does this make my butt look bigger?

 

Honey, I love you and to me you’ll always be the same

even though your two cheeks now appear the size of three,

because my darling a little spreading isn’t so strange

and I’m so blinded by your beauty don’t care you’re big as a tree.

 

Oh beloved priceless princess I’m so very proud of you

for trying all those diets to slim your goddess shape,

holding your breath to wear smaller sizes while turning blue

though the seams burst and you’re always buying something new.

 

Sweetheart what I can say that will erase your every fear

there’s magic in those supple mounds of cottage cheese thighs,

just take my word for it and ignore that dreaded, evil mirror,

we can even celebrate with buying you another six cream pies.

 

Alas, my sweet lass, have I said only the truth to your ears

because there is no gain unto me for speaking with false lips,

now be so kind and put away those poison tipped spears

I learned from the last time when my reply summoned your whips.

 

With a kiss shall I bid to you a wish for joy as you leave for work

aware how being a prison guard truly can be so very demanding,

as a former inmate under you care I know it makes you a tad berserk,

still forever grateful you didn’t cripple me after that one misunderstanding.

 

Don’t fret my angel for I’ll be here once you come back home

my soul will long to wait for your next caring and gentle touch,

plus with these heart shaped shackles I surely can’t try to roam

beside how I can not cherish your death grip passion clutch?