Stupid Labels!

Just can’t trust anyone these days

and then they give cars these

super smart computer,

got this thinks for itself genius brain.

 

All I wanted was to get better gas mileage,

for this brand new fangled, turbo charged,

“Pavement Mile Driving Road Tyrant”

that I bought from

this “Whiz Bang Motors” web site,

hell, got hooked by that name!

 

It was supposed to squeeze every drop

out of every fricken gallon in gas,

only it was more like sucked my wallet dry,

went from fifty miles to the gallon

to a gallon per every block.

 

So my buddy told me

he could get me some miracle gas additive,

would get me over a hundred miles to a gallon!

 

Put the stuff in that gas take,

engine started humming

thought it was so cool,

then took off to visit that place downtown,

suddenly that darn junk

made the car’s computer freak

it went all crazy and before I knew what was happen

somehow the front of the car

managed to get tilted down

and was trying to dig a hole in the cement.

 

Took a while to find out

that super miracle crap my buddy gave me

happened to be some plumber’s rotor rooter crap

with a gas additive label stuck on the bottle.

 

Lucky me, my brainy automobile

just went berserk on that juice

and became like some horny teenager

trying to screw anything it could.