His Toady Daze

Oh Prince Charming was so very, very charming,
he would wave his big scepter at so many ladies,
how he loved leaping upon every woman’s lily pad
and taking long dips in her pond.

Inside he was such a hopeless horny toad
no maiden was safe when he was around,
couldn’t stop jumping every gal he met,
always lying about offering them a princess crown
so he could keep his stiff sword satisfied.

Then one morn he returned to the castle
after another night of carnal nobility
when the King informed him
that he was betrothed to another monarch’s daughter,
for his dad was pressed to get his son married
in order to preserve peace with that other empire.

Naturally his son didn’t like the idea
of being wed to a woman he had never seen
or giving up his glory days
be free to party all night
wherever his throbbing saber wanted to play.

Then came his wedding day
finally seeing his bride for the first time,
hoping for a goddess, but got short round wife.
She had a heart of gold and was the sweetest person,
but he just kept hopping around on all the other ladies.

Only he didn’t know she had a full figured fairy godmother
who decided to vent her wrath,
turning him into a frog and keeping him on a leash,
even his parents couldn’t complain
because she threaten to make them love eating flies.

Now he’s forced to go for a walk
so the fairy can show off her powers,
making sure he’s under control and never straying again,
grateful at least she didn’t castrate him too.

Thought for the week: "If voting was like shaving most people would have beards."