No More Hey Diddle, Diddle

Oh we are as tired from this daily anxiety
when our owner ruins our feline variety,
now that this her infant son is old enough to roam
and she’s got fairy tale rhymes ringing in the home.

We just can’t bear another round of diddle, diddle
plus that silliness about some cat with a fiddle,
don’t want hear again about some cow jumping over the moon
because after fifties times it sure makes us nuts by every noon.

Well we are trying a new approach with my son and I in cahoots
just hoping our poses and antics will remind her of puss and boots,
at least it’s a start while we figure a new strategy for attention,
which will be a true masterpiece of my cat’s clever invention.

Meanwhile we will practice this cuteness nap
to see if it will close the infant’s opening gap,
between our snacks and play time that were just fine
before that darn kid’s dumb luck took was use to be mine.

It’s okay because my darling kitten is worth it all
already learned my lesson about curling in a ball,
besides unlike junior my son doesn’t require any diapers
that are disgusting like some pit of venomous vipers.

So we will keep up our fur and cuddly act
as our grand and glorious mother and son pact,
for no little rug rat is going to get the best of us
since we can meow, be adorable to outshine any kid’s fuss.

Mouth Magic

There’s nothing more amazing
than a luscious slice of chocolate cream pie,
that incredibly, smooth creamy topping
before you bite into that chocolate filling,
it nearly melts in the mouth
as all the textures blend together
with that pastry pie crust,
so soft and chewy
just perfect to complete the taste.

What a cool and fantastic dessert
how it makes the meal so perfect
to end it with such true magic
of a fork full of heaven
slowly fed into the mouth,
which you can let bring its sweet happiness
while chewing it slowly
in order to not miss any moment of joy
from what it has to offer.

 

Question Marks

She holds a locket
containing a golden watch
in her palm,
its hands move backwards,
sometimes stopping,
never points to true time,

On the cover of the locket
are faces that constantly change,
each a life she sees in whimsical glances
deciding to bless or curse
as her mood inspires.

For she is fate, goddess of fortune,
daughter of a god and mortal queen,
who has ethereal talons to sway any seconds,
but posses of the most tempest spirit.
A legacy of her mother's nature,
still unable to believe at times
how her mixed breeding
left her ethereal essence
experiencing cycles of PMS,
but when it strikes
her thoughts turn dark,
venting in some special creative way
a dash of bad luck upon any soul who catches her attention.

In happier times
beset of generosity
passing out the diamonds of joy
to someone that caught her eye.

This lark of tempest flair
always leaving questions in every heart
about the way life works,
but it truly serves a divine purpose
for the immortals understood
without a few question marks in life
man's creativity wouldn't be inspired
to look for answers.

Costumes

Oh the sheaths
woven
from summer's seraph threads,
a membrane shrouding
with Oz radiation.

It suffocates
when exposed
unto dehydration.
Inflating as hot air balloon
if thirst for rain
gives flight to the disguise.

Elevators

Falling from ambition's frail ladder
while attempting to reach
the spires painted in the sky.

Camelot clouds envisioned when sleeping
linger as someday mirage of hope's hovering
above the desolate ruins
that once were a sand castle of potential
created when life still fluttered with promise.

Eyes gaze towards the sun piercing bluntness
to find the stairway that reaches the gems
twinkling in one mind's night.

To ascend the fortress that lives in the heart
visits by angels as paramours of light.
Until no moment's caress blends with despair
and the citadel sought as desire
reaches forth from imagination's inviting air.

Riding the elevator of faith
unto the level where reality sees possibilities
so one can hold heaven with spiritual arms,
dream and have it be truth
watch with eyes that can see the world
with Eagle's flared vision.

Lifted from purgatory to Nirvana
on a plateau full of serenity's breeze
because one pushed the buttons in the soul,
becoming a passenger of choice
going to heights others have never imagined.

Losing Control

Roaring rage and red line lies
roam against the tires of sanity
holding reliance's frail wheel
upon the reflection's racetrack
towards obscurity's trailer park.

Curve in calamity's edge
bends the mind towards collision
with the accusing landscape of desire
that dances in the eyes
when peeking into the looking glass
by artificially induced clarity.

Hearing the crash impending
not even attempting to apply the brake,
ride towards fate
more thrills
than tooling down the road
in a coffin of excuses.

Time clings the conscious to the highway
no traffic cops of truth
come to cite one's illusions,
racing forward to the horizon
smothered in anxiety's dust cloud
accepting having no power
over the destination,
but foot still glued to accelerator.

Taffercise Those Pounds Away

Now you can pull away those excess pounds
with the Acme Taffercise System,
plus it is not only great exercise,
but when you are done
you get the added benefit
of some great tasty taffy
that is sugar free.

Made of a special edible silly putty,
this taffy comes in several great flavors,
there is eggplant, liverwurst, headcheese,
sauerkraut, cod liver oil and fiery Tabasco pork rinds.

No more trips to gyms
or those darn diets to mess with,
just a few hours of stretching our taffy
then feasting on that great snack
will make those pounds melt away.

So don’t wait to send away
for the patented Taffercise System
with our unique sweat-o-matic device,
which will help you make this fitness option
one you truly enjoy.

It’s unique, its different
and most of all very affordable,
thanks to our payment plan program
one phone call and your purchase
can be shipped the same day
at a very reasonable cost
of 75 per cent interest
compounded by the hour.

Let’s See What Develops

It was the turn of the century at 1900 in England
the population had declined and the government was concerned
so they issued a decree that any couple who didn’t conceive
after a year of marriage would have a male substitute sent
that was considered to be sure the wife got pregnant.

On this given morning a husband left for work
aware that the government stud representative was due that morning,
only in this case a baby photographer happen to show up
who was out soliciting to take pictures.

Well the woman let him into the house
where he told her his specialty was twins,
her eyes widen in curiosity
then he whipped out an album
to show off examples of his work.

Then he went on to talk about some of his “jobs”
like the one on the back of a pony,
which he said took all day.

By now the woman was shocked
saying she had never tried such a thing.
Was then the photographer mentioned
how the really hard part was using a tripod,
she looked confused and asked why a tripod?

He replied that because his “equipment” was so big
it was the only way he could use it,
immediately the woman fainted.