A Hammer Some Tape And It Will All Be Good

When you live in an apartment

repairs are easy,

just dial the landlord and hope

his alcoholic, brain dead oaf of a maintenance guy

shows up and can fix whatever is broke,

 no worries since it is his problem.

 

But when it is your house,

there is no one to call,

it is all on your back

nothing gets taken care of

unless you do it some way.

 

Course you have options

like reaching some contractor on the phone

that you found in the yellow pages

who will charge you $200 to come out,

look at you problem and say it needs fixed.

 

So to save money

you go down to the home improvement center

where some part time, minimum wage clerk,

busy on his cell phone talking to his girl friend

about some totally silly dribble

finally stops long enough to listen to your question.

 

Naturally, he doesn’t have a clue,

which electrical part out of 50 in the bins

will replace the one you have that broke

or says it needs a special tool

that they don’t carry in their store.

 

It’s all part of the joy of homeownership,

after a while you learned

homes really are a dream,

just not always in a good way

if it involves some problem

in need or repair,

but at least I now have a garage full of tools,

some I even know how they work,

still not sure on what though,

someday I imagine I’ll figure it out.